Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong to No One

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On a reality TV show, Survivor: Fiji, Yau-man said: "Love many, trust few, do wrong to none."

Love many :  Like the saying goes, "it is privileged to receive, and blessed to give."  There is nothing greater than making others happy, including our enemy.  Enemy?  Yes.  Keep our friends close, keep our enemies closer.  When we keep our enemies happy and close to us, we can monitor what they are doing, keep them off their guard, and this is to our advantage.  

But of course, we do not aim to have enemies.  My 'enemies' are those around me who do not follow rules, speak without thinking, or are just not doing their work effectively. 

A Chinese proverb: "Know oneself and know one's enemy, and we will win every battle." Anyway, the bottom line is not about killing our enemy, but about keeping ourselves (and everyone around us) happy.

Trust few :  Even the nicest guy will have his agenda.  In this competitive society, the only person that we can truly trust, is oneself.  Many people live for themselves.  There are exceptions though, like Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Florence Nightingale.  These are the ones who put away their own needs and focused on helping others.

"Trust few" does not mean shut our door and avoid everyone. Many people like to play 'games'.  We should, however, always consider why people say certain things, evaluate, and decide on the appropriate response. Sometimes, it is good to trust our gut feeling.

Do wrong to no one : So that we can sleep peacefully at night.  Even if we dislike someone, there is no necessity for us to hurt him or to make him unhappy.  A person with poor attitude will face problem everywhere he goes.  He is in fact punishing himself all the time when he gets into trouble.  There is no need for us to do wrong to him (or take revenge etc), so to speak.

The best way to deal with someone who always gives us trouble is to avoid them.  If we are not able to avoid them, just ignore what they say.  Of course, saying is easier than done.  But it can be done when we are at peace. The more we get angry, the more we are falling into their trap.

Summary: be nice to the people around us, and trust only the very close ones.

P/S: I recommend reading the book "Games People Play" by Eric Berne.


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