The Reason Behind Anger

Sometimes we see angry people on public transport, at the malls, at the work place, anywhere.  The usual signs are shouting or banging/throwing objects, or both.  But those are not within our control, except perhaps going up to calm the person down if we do not see any of his friends or relatives around. In this post, we focus on dealing with angry people whom we know. 

Anger is a natural response to direct triggers which are obvious to most people who witness the incident.  But there could be underlying reasons too.  To calm a person faster, it would be useful if we know and tackle the underlying cause, if any, at the same time.

Direct triggers may include:

• problems caused by someone (a colleague, friend, or family member), such as being scolded for the wrong reason, or a bad joke being played;

• frustrating events or lack of patience, such as being stuck in a traffic jam or not being able to open a jar;

• physical pain, such as headache or a wound;

• environmental conditions, such as uncomfortable surroundings.

Underlying triggers may include:

• personal problems, such as losing the spouse due to a third person, or being debt ridden;

• memories of traumatic events, such as the loss of a loved one, or being bullied elsewhere;

• feeling that goals are unachievable, such as the inability to cope with a difficult task, or the promotion opportunity being given to someone else;

• chronic illnesses, such as regular migraine attacks, or loss of a limb.

 

When underlying causes are compounded with direct triggers, a person is likely to flare up.  If we know the possible underlying cause, tackle the underlying cause first, like asking him how he is dealing/coping, to bring him away from the direct trigger.  Once the person calms down, we can then mitigate the direct trigger, if still necessary.

Sometimes, the best solution is to leave the angry person alone.  There is no right way or best way.  Hence, assess the situation and act accordingly.  The worst thing we can do is to fan the fire.