Those who Mind Don't Matter


Frequently, we see others upset about our decision(s). There is no need to get stressed over this (assuming we know our decision making is sound most of the time).  There is a saying: Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind (or different versions of this).

Those who mind - refers to people who make noise/complain; usually, they made noise because they did not understand, especially those over trivial matters.

Those who matter - refers to people who care about you, people who are wise or have good EQ; they understand and will stand by you.

Example 1:

At your wedding reception, someone comes up to you and asks why he/she is seated so far from the stage (or why he/she is seated with people he/she doesn't like etc).  Just politely apologise, state your reason, and excuse yourself.  People who go for such stuffs usually don't warrant our attention.  However, you could politely ask where he/she would like to be seated, check availability of seat at that table, and do something about it. 

On the other hand, there will be those who understand why you do things that way, and they are always accommodating and standing by you.  This is the group of people that you should spend your attention on, because they are "with you".  The difficult part is knowing how to identify those who are "with you", because they usually are silent.  Be observant, watch out for body language, tone.  Analyse conversations, intent of people's actions. With age and experience, we should get better at this.

Example 2:

The saying can also be applied to other situations like the following:

In life, many people cross your path.  Some of them will judge you, or ask you to do things you are not comfortable with (like ask you to smoke or party all night).  Do not be over concerned about how these people think about you.  Learn to say no to them.  Because they are not "genuine" friends.

Those who don't care about your health but insist you drink and smoke with them, they don't matter to you.  Leave them.

On the other hand, those who truly care about you will never ask you to do things that are bad for you.  These are the people who matters. Stick with them.

There are many other illustrations of this saying on the internet.

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