36th Chinese Stratagems - Running Away

36 Chinese Stratagems (三十六计) is a set of 6 x 6 techniques, a collection of ancient Chinese military tactics.  Although it was based on fighting the enemies, there is a lot to learn from this and to apply in our daily life.

What I like most is the last strategy 走为上策, literally, Leaving (running away). Like the Chinese say, it is the best strategy.

Practical applications:

- to avoid confrontations, arguments

- to escape from embarrassing situations

- to run away from aggressive sales pitch

- to prevent further losses

- to get out of likely being played in a mind-game

Many people cannot just leave it, due to pride and the need to win.  It doesn't mean we will become a loser because we avoided confrontations.  My general rule is, things we cannot control (other peoples' actions), we avoid.

Some examples:

1.   Many years ago I was in a taxi where the driver kept on rambling on his dissatisfaction with the government.  I listened, with the occasional response "I don't think that's the case.".  Then he said that in soccer betting, 2 and 3 total goals always have the lowest odds because the government controls it, so that people do not win too much.  

Most of us would understand that this is not the case.  We know that 2 and 3 total goals have the lowest odds because these are the most probable outcomes in soccer matches in general, and we do see the shifts based on which the two opposing teams are.  After that, I just kept quiet.  I knew there was no point continuing the conversation, which was one-way in the first place.  By keeping totally quiet, I was "running away" from the conversation.  

There is little point correcting the driver, because there is not enough time to ensure that my explanation gets across. Even if my explanation makes sense, his dissatisfaction with the government will likely still be there, because there is surely some underlying reasons for his unhappiness.  Lastly, the chances of me meeting him again is slim.

Since then, whenever taxi drivers complain about the government, I would just keep quiet.  Most drivers realised this after a while, and they would stop rambling.  So, the strategy does work.

2.  We can try this strategy when we encounter a quarrelsome situation or an unreasonable person.  It takes two hands to clap.  A quarrel happens when one person got angry, said some bad things about the other person.  The other person got trapped in the game, and say something bad in return.  We can break this chain by walking away.  There is no need to win a quarrel, because those are angry words.

I hardly encounter angry people, nor do I get into quarrels, but the place that I experience many angry people are in one of the on-line strategy games I play.  Some leaders like to complain or scold others for not doing things their way.  I usually respond with "There is no need to get angry, this is just a game." And I would keep quiet after that.  This helped sometimes, because it reduced the number of people who joined in the "talk back".

In real life situation, we can just respond "There is no need to get angry.", and walk away.  Hopefully this will make the person reflect and understand that he/she is making a fool of himself/herself, and would stop the ruckus. Just ignore whatever the person shouts behind you, if he/she didn't get the point.

3.  This can also be applied when we encounter others playing mind games with us. As explained in one of my previous post on mind games, we ignore and turn the advantage back towards us.  This is also a form of running away. Not to hide, but to get to a more advantageous position.

4.  Also, very importantly, knowing when to stop in an investment/gamble.  Many people continue to bet when they win, because they think that their luck is here. They also continue to bet when they lose, because they want to win it back.  Hence, knowing when to stop is crucial.  Set targets/limits (for both winning and losing).  Don't let greed take over us.  Leave, when we hit the limit.