Forgive Others Whenever We Can

 

Most Chinese would know the phrase 得饶人处且饶人, which means, to forgive others whenever we can.

This has been a very useful strategy for the Chinese.  Because when we force someone into a corner, we may trigger his need and urgency to fight back. This can then put us into a less advantageous position.

There is another saying 狗急跳墙 : When a dog panics, it can jump over a wall. Hence, do not press the super-power button on your enemy.

But, many Chinese would not know the full context of the former phrase.  It came from a high priest who gained enlightenment by spending many years playing the Chinese Go, and finally understanding the deeper meaning in it.

烂柯真诀妙通神

一局曾经几度春

自出洞来无敌手

得饶人处且饶人

Literal translation: 

The game of Chinese Go is intriguing.

One could spend a few years on a game.

Never met a stronger opponent after coming out from the cave (meditation/enlightenment).

Forgive others whenever we can. 

Referring to the context from "never met a stronger opponent...".  The high priest was saying, in order to forgive others, it means we are already in the winning position.  Those in a losing situation or disadvantaged position will not have the opportunity to forgive.  Hence, in any disputes/quarrelsome situations, one must first understand your place in the situation, in order to make the right move.

If we are on the winning/advantageous side, we need to be able to forgive (自出洞来无敌手, 得饶人处且饶人).

If we are on the losing/disadvantageous side, we need to step back and cool down (忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空). 

This is one way to resolve disputes/aggression.

Foot note:

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空 : Patience (calming down) will lead to calm winds and waves (peace). Stepping back will let us see the horizon and the sky (understand more).