Meaningful Living

Sometimes we see angry people on public transport, at the malls, at the work place, anywhere.  The usual signs are shouting or banging/throwing objects, or both.  But those are not within our control, except perhaps going up to calm the person down if we do not see any of his friends or relatives around. In this post, we focus on dealing with angry people whom we know.  Anger is a natural response to direct triggers which are obvious to most people who witness the incident.  But there could be underlying reasons too.  To calm a person faster, it would be useful if we know and tackle the underlying cause, if any, at the same time. Direct triggers may include: problems caused by someone (a colleague, friend, or family member), such as being scolded for the wrong reason, or a bad joke being played; frustrating events or lack of patience, such as being stuck in a traffic jam or not being able to open a jar; physical pain, such as headache or a wound; environm...

Many adults encounter lower back pain or other spine-related problems.  This is a simple summary of things that we need to take note of. Adhere to the advice of not spending too much time looking down at the mobile phone.  If we lower our head to look at the phone too often, the neck is going to give way, because the head is a heavy object.  What we can do is, after every 20 minutes of looking down at the phone, look up, do some simple neck exercise or walk around before going back to the phone. Follow proper sitting posture, and stand up to move about after every 30 minutes or so at the computer.  Because when we stand up, our legs are supporting the body's weight.  Whereas when we sit, the weight is borne mainly by the spine. Do not bend our body to pick up heavy objects.  Always squat, pick it up, and stand up without bending the body. Common spine problems in adults: Degenerative Disc Disease Slipped disc Bone spurs (Cervical Spondylosis) Osteoarthritis...

A birthday gift from one of my ex-students. The Chinese words literally translate to "Attitude determines the Height".  Very apt in summarising what my blog is advocating.  Because it is our attitude towards other things that affect many of the important decisions in our life. Thank you, JJ.

There are various definition to "steep learning curve".  I define it as learning (on the y-axis) versus time (on the x-axis).  The steeper the curve, the more learning in a certain amount of time. Learning doesn't necessarily lead to improvement.  One needs to apply the learning positively and effectively so that he can be better.   I categorise human being loosely into 4 groups according to their propensity to change: Group A: Those who don't see that they need to improve, and are not likely to find ways to improve, no matter how much others advise them. Group B: Those who know they have weaknesses, but are lazy/slow to change. Group C: Those who know they have weaknesses, and are trying very hard to be better, because they need to change due to circumstances around them. Group D: Those who learn very fast and improve very fast, without anyone needing to tell them what to do.  Having self-awareness is a good start.  Knowing where we are and what we n...

Here's a simple cucumber salad, Chinese style.  Portion is for one person, as a snack. Ingredients: 1.  Half a cucumber (get those with thinner skin and finer seeds where possible) 2.  Red chilli, small amount, cut into small rings (optional) 3.  Coriander stems and leaves (optional) 4.  Half tablespoon ZhenJiang Vinegar (or any other vinegar) 5.  Half tablespoon Soy Sauce 6.  Half teaspoon sugar (In the end, I used less than what is shown in the pic below, as it tasted good enough) 7.  A dash of sesame oil (optional) 8.  A dash of lemon juice (optional) Steps: 1.  Use a meat pounder to smash the cucumber without disintegrating it.  Then cut into small pieces. 2.  You can add some salt to the cucumber for a while, to drain out some water, but I felt that this is not necessary (remember to wash the salt off before continuing, if you include this step). 3.  Add all the ingredients together and mix well.  Put in the refr...

The book that I have given as a gift the most often is the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (or more precisely, the "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens", by Stephen/Sean Covey.  It is a good read, for those who want to be wiser. In this post, I will focus mainly on the 5th habit advocated in the book: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood.  The reason being, this habit is the most difficult to apply in practice (because of human nature), but is a necessary skill for happiness in life.  What I am proposing here are based on my interpretation of the Habit, and from my experience. According to Stephen and Sean Covey, many people listen with the intent to reply, not with the intent to try to understand.  They can't wait to get their response out. In almost all quarrels, both sides desperately want to put their point across, but not willing to listen to the other side, because their aim is to win the quarrel.  But many people do not understand that the...

Life is short, so say some people, to rationalise their need to engage in dangerous acts.  Sometimes, I would jokingly respond "Yes, life is short, why make it shorter?" Wanting to do more during our short life time is good thinking.  However, I consider going for extreme sports or trying dangerous food as personal ambitions.  I would propose also spending this short life time to value-add to our life, so as to use our passions and skills to better contribute positively back to the world, on top of achieving our personal goals.  I feel this is a more meaningful approach to our life. Knowledge is Power.   With knowledge, we think and analyse, and hopefully understand.  When we understand, we are better at making informed decisions.  We can read anything fictions, non-fictions, humour, self improvement, long novels, short stories etc, as long as there is no promotion of negative stuffs.  We can watch documentaries on how things work, or even hi...

  Many of us would have friends who habitually do not respond to messages, especially in a group chat/email, even though we requested for a response or when we posted a question to all. It is important to provide an ‘Interim response’, to acknowledge receipt of the message/email.   Put ourselves in the position of the sender.   How would we feel when we asked a question to 10 persons, and only half of them replied?   We would be wondering why the rest are not replying.   Are they unhappy, are they undecided, or are they not keen on the proposed idea?  This may also delay decision making. Generally, if we cannot give an answer right away, a "Noted with thanks, I will get back to you on this soon" will suffice.   Or just a “noted” will do.   I feel that this is basic courtesy. For the same reason, most companies have their ‘interim response’ policy, where we receive an automated response upon their system receiving our order/feedback.   S...

In the course of my work, I have come across hundreds of teenagers and spoken with many of their parents (including mediation between child and parents). I have thus sort of gathered the factors for raising a child to be a good and useful person. They say it takes a village to raise a child.  But from my experience, I would say this can be done by just a few good role models in the child's life.  I know of a lady who was divorced after five years of marriage.  She worked, and with the help of her parents, raised her son.  The young man is one of the few matured thinking persons of his age that I have met.  He knows how to comfort others, does not spend a lot of time on the mobile phone at gatherings, is thoughtful and sociable.  Of course, whether the character and personality of a person is the effect of nature or nurture calls for debate.  But here, we focus on what is within our control. Some factors crucial to effective raising of a child: Showing ...

Money is everything.  Is it? I often hear people say things like "I will make my first million by the age of 30", or "If you have $10,000 lying in the bank, what would you do?"  These are pertinent thoughts in many people.  No right or wrong.   I agree that having money is important.  Our life can be better with lots of it.  Having money also gives us more options in life.  What I am proposing is, not to make seeking money our focus in life, but make money come to us as a result of focusing on some other areas, like  Family, or Happiness, or both.  Some can even go for Career. Isn't career equal to money?  Some may ask.  In a way, yes.  But the approach is different, and the resulting quality of life may be different.   Some people chose to do what they like to do, and as a result, do very well, and get rewarded handsomely for it.  On the other hand, some others go for high-paying or high returns job, but th...