Meaningful Living

I once heard someone asked : "Do you want to LOOK rich, or do you want to BE rich?"   He was advising others on ways to reduce unnecessary expenses.  Things like, not buying branded stuffs, not changing mobile phone every year, and that the biggest depletion of our wealth is owning a car (in the Singapore context).  I would think that he was advising normal people like us, not those with tons of money which cannot finish. What he was saying is, do we choose to spend a lot of money to make us look rich (and not leaving much money in the bank), or do we choose to be careful about our spending and actually have money with us. "We don't bring money into the grave. We work hard to spend it." We so often hear people say this.  Yes, I agree we work hard so that we can have a better life, but that's precisely why we should not spend money on things that make us look rich, but spend money on things that make us feel comfortable (not necessarily branded stuffs). The ...

Very often when we call a company's customer service, we were told to hold the line while they transfer us to another department. One thing that can happen is the latter department then needed to transfer us somewhere else again, or more frustratingly, back to the first department. We cannot control what other companies do.  Hence this is about what we can do at our work, to improve customer service, and, our work performance.  In many companies, there is a No-Wrong-Door Policy.  However, I believe that we should follow this policy even if our company never specifies it.   Let's say we receive a call from the public requiring information or action from another department in our company, instead of telling the person to call another department or transferring the person to another department, this is what we can do.  Obtain the caller's name and contact number, clarify what he/she needs, and assure the person you will call back as soon as you can (a simple r...

Was at a seminar many years back, learning from interior designer Steve Chiu (Creative Director of Pencilbox Interior Design Partnership Pte Ltd). He gave many anecdotes and examples of how we should be inspired and fired up to be the best in what we do.  One thing caught my attention : Don't just follow the client's design brief (or our boss' instructions).  Exceed his expectations. Very often, we do what our boss or client asks for.  This is not enough, according to Steve.  We should instead wow them.  For example, when we submit year-end review on our unit's work, don't just stop at reviewing, but propose concrete plans on improvement/enhancement for the following year.   Some other things he said: - Don't try to start with being original.  Just try to be good. - Don't give up if the idea fails.  Keep going. Good stuffs don't usually come on the first try. - Be daring.  You will never succeed if you stay in your comfort zone. - Commun...

Came across the term Diderot Effect recently.  This usually describes the situation where the purchase of one item results in the need to purchase other items.  It is also used to describe other situations but I will not discuss those here. Illustration 1: When we buy a car, there are many other stuffs that come along, like petrol, toll charges, parking fees, insurance, maintenance, loan interest, the forever car replacement down the road, just to name a few.  A big part of our money will go to the car.  Illustration 2: We bought a new branded wallet.  Someone commented that we have good taste.  We felt good, and started to buy other items of the same brand, like cuff links, ties, belt, etc.  These are money that we could have saved, because we did not need to buy those in the first place.   Illustration 3: You bought your nephew a pet dog for his birthday.  Now his parents need to fork out money to buy pet food, for pet grooming and so...

Many people are not happy with their boss for giving them too much work and too much stress.  They feel that the boss does not understand them or is being unreasonable.  They feel helpless because they are not in control.  While we cannot control our boss, we can manage the situation so that we are in control of the situation. The following are based on my experience in dealing with my past and present bosses.  There are also many articles on the internet on how to "manage our boss". I will list only a few points. 1.    The boss is usually right. Yes, because their goals are our goals.  Whichever direction they want to head towards, follow.  Especially in professional fields like medical, engineering and education etc, the bosses are usually there because of their vision, wisdom, creativity, and good work done. Trust them (barring flaws in their character). 2.   If we feel that there are gaps in certain areas, don't complain, but provid...

People say, one's character can be told from his signatures. If our signature looks like two circles or like a 3-year old starting to write, then we should sit down and start designing a proper signature, one where people will think "Wow, what a nice signature!" My advise is to have three fixed signatures. 1.    Full Version We use this for matters like signing official documents where the law is involved (banks-related, wills, contracts, etc).  Make sure this signature is something not easy to forge by others. 2.    Simplified Version This is simplified from the full version, and may still look like part of the full version.  It is for quick endorsement for not-so-important documents, like signing on documents at work, on a SPA package receipt, etc. Generally, we have this simplified version for quicker signing on non-law abiding documents, and also for not letting strangers know our full signature, where the situation permits. 3.    The Scribble...

  Some people learn from others' mistakes, and they avoid those mistakes.   Some people follow others' mistakes, because they feel that it is ok since many are doing it. It is like, many people do not smoke because they have seen others getting various cancer due to smoking. So they will never touch the cigarette. While there is another group of people who try smoking, because those around them are smoking, despite them knowing that smoking is not good for the body.  Some would defend that it was due to peer pressure or stress, but this just point back to themselves for not having good self-control. We can apply the above understanding at work too.  When we see or hear our boss telling off co-workers or advising them on certain matters, remember it and do not make the same mistakes.  It is not difficult to learn and improve fast.  It takes just simple effort to be observant and a conscious effort of remembering what we see.  Thank you, YG, for all...

There is a saying : If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life. There are TV shows everywhere in the world showing them giving people a new home or make over of the home, because the houses were cluttered and run down.  In one show, they revisited the homes of those they helped renovate a year ago.  Most of the homes' condition were acceptable.  But of those who were cluttered again, one owner responded :"It's only a small mess..." On the other hand, there are TV shows that teach people how to declutter their house, and also revisiting them later on to check on them. In my opinion, teaching people to declutter is definitely more meaningful than to give people a renovation for free.  Because, if they don't get it, they don't get it. We can apply this understanding when we educate the young in our schools and at home. When a kid falls down, let the kid pick himself/herself up, instead of rushing to help ...

Frequently, we see others upset about our decision(s). There is no need to get stressed over this (assuming we know our decision making is sound most of the time).  There is a saying: Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind (or different versions of this). Those who mind - refers to people who make noise/complain; usually, they made noise because they did not understand, especially those over trivial matters. Those who matter - refers to people who care about you, people who are wise or have good EQ; they understand and will stand by you. Example 1: At your wedding reception, someone comes up to you and asks why he/she is seated so far from the stage (or why he/she is seated with people he/she doesn't like etc).  Just politely apologise, state your reason, and excuse yourself.  People who go for such stuffs usually don't warrant our attention.  However, you could politely ask where he/she would like to be seated, check availability of seat at that...

Read a book "Tuesday with Morrie" by Mitch Albom sometime back. In the book, Mitch wrote what he learned from his dying professor Morrie Schwartz, who was a wise man. One of the things his professor said :  "If you are trying to show off for people at the top, forget it.  They will look down at you anyway.  And if you are trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it.  They will only envy you.  Status will get you nowhere.  Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone." I agree with what the professor said.  We do not need to show off.  When we work hard and produce results, our boss can see.  Showing off only lowers the credibility of our character. Showing off to our co-workers or our subordinates will also alienate us from them, and making it more difficult for us to get work out of them. Do our work well, without the drama.